Just For Fun


Вы здесь: Форумы fantlab.ru > Форум «English forum on Fantlab.ru» > Тема «Just For Fun»

Just For Fun

 автор  сообщение


миротворец

Ссылка на сообщение 20 апреля 2011 г. 00:22  
Virtual Barber Shop

Use headphones and close you eyes during the listening



миродержец

Ссылка на сообщение 23 июня 2011 г. 13:13  
I got the regular update from the Answers.com and laughed my head off — they listed some of the craziest questions they regularly get from the customers, these are totally hilairous!

Top 5 Bizarre questions of the month:
Our contributors never fail to make us laugh. Check out these queries that amused the Answers.com team recently.

• Will googling Google really break the Internet?
• Can you swim in lava with a fireproof suit?
• How many paper clips are stolen from a workplace per day?
• Why isn't the number eleven pronounced onety-one?
• Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
–––
Eramos pocos y parió la abuela


гранд-мастер

Ссылка на сообщение 4 июля 2011 г. 11:07  
This audio is disgusting. Mockery of the hairdressers.
–––
Fide, gravitate, constantia


миродержец

Ссылка на сообщение 22 августа 2011 г. 15:26  
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2...

totally hilarious — sense of humor and some brilliant use of English :-)))
–––
Eramos pocos y parió la abuela


миродержец

Ссылка на сообщение 11 сентября 2011 г. 04:41  
There is no rude language here, so I did not conceal it.


WARNING!!! This is sexually graphic.


Please read and answer the question at the end.


<<< Jim pauses in his latest endeavor and frowns. After a moments
contemplation, he saves his work and firmly closes his new fantasy G4
titanium PowerBook. After a meditative sip of his drink, he addresses
those around him.

"There are some literary subjects that have become total clichе and
attempting to describe an erect penis is one.

"I am writing a sex scene and my hero is now crossing the room while
fully erect. So, basically, his stiff dick is bobbing like a demented
conductors baton as he crosses the room ... however, one cannot simply
write, 'He crossed the room, his stiff dick bobbing like ... ' and so
forth. Well, one could if one was writing that sort of scene (and one was
half plastered), but this one cannot.

"To write anything referring to his 'turgid manhood' is also somewhat
tacky. Hell, just the term 'manhood' to describe the penis strikes me as
idiotic. A dick is no more one's 'manhood' than a hymen is one's
'maidenhood.' 'He strutted across the bedroom, his hard manhood pointing
the way' sounds somewhat he owns a badly named seeing-eye dog. 'Sit, Hard
Manhood ... good boy.'

"Just describing the state of erection is tough. It is a simple matter of
erectile flesh and hydraulics, but damnably difficult to put into terms
romantic. 'His penis, reacting to his viewing her naked flesh, achieved
satisfactory erection, proving good vascular response and
socio/psychological adjustment." Oh, yeah ... baby, baby.

"Terms like 'throbbing,' 'pulsing' and all other variations of this
nature make it sound as if the silly thing had a blood pressure cuff
wrapped around it. 'His fleshy organ quickly surged into full alertness,
throbbing and pulsing and otherwise scaring the **** out of him.' When I
envision something throbbing, I imagine an action somewhat akin to a
bullfrogs throat sack as it croaks. THROB! Frankly, with this in mind, if
my dick ever took to throbbing, I'd call a doctor. Matter of fact, I
would think that any woman, faced with an actively throbbing and pulsing
penis, would be somewhat concerned as well. (I don't know this for a
fact, though ... Dian says that in certain situations, the sight is
somewhat excited, but the first time she experienced this situation, she
looked for a stick to kill it with.)

"And then there is the matter of size, shape, color and texture. Well,
he's the hero ... I suppose it should be heroic, but somewhat shy of
practical joke size. Shape, now, there's another difficulty ... as well
as color and texture. Hell, let's face it ... a dick is a fairly funny
looking, if not downright ugly, piece of equipment. Veins, bumps, ridges
and all that; a color that never matches the sheets, much less the
surrounding flesh (or any flesh, for that matter); an overall look of a
plum precariously balanced on a badly whittled rod. Let's not even
mention it and simply stick to the concept of a literary description of

my hero approaching the heroine.

"Okay, he's naked and fully aroused ... does he stride? Stalk? Strut?
Strikes me as a situation that calls for something more than 'walk,' but
something less than 'bound.' I could have the silly sod moonwalk across
the floor, but the resulting mental image ... damn, too late! Oh, well ..
another round of therapy. And what does the erect penis actually do while
he crosses the floor? Does it bounce against his belly, producing it's
own applause? Does it wave about in some sort of vague response to his
stride? Would it be feasible if I simply had him hang a towel from the
damn thing and skip the entire description?

"And what about the heroine? She is languidly reclining on the bed...and
doing her level best to not bust a gut laughing, I suspect. Should she
stare? Gasp? Giggle? Ogle? Chant 'boingy, boingy, boingy' as he
approaches or whistle the 'Elephant Walk' in time to the swaying? This is
suppose to be a moment of strong passion and deep emotions ... but a
bouncing, throbbing, column of manhood slowly moonwalking forward ...
damn, gotta stop that image ... strutting towards her cannot be what
every woman dreams of in her fevered imagination. I want this scene to be
equally stirring to both men and women, but fear that this is
impossible."

Sailor Jim stares into the fire for a moment, then opens his PowerBook
once more. "Screw it ... or, rather, let's not. I'll simply segue from
her starting to slip out of her clothes to the morning after. Y'know, the
standard story cop-out. Thanks for letting me talk this one
through." author unknown >>>

So, how would you write this scene?


SkunkDML
Deborah Ledgerwood
DeborahBrent@att.net
President Smoky Mountain Romance Writers Knoxville, TN
www.SMRW.org

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
–––
Eramos pocos y parió la abuela


авторитет

Ссылка на сообщение 11 сентября 2011 г. 09:55  

цитата Aryan

does he stride? Stalk? Strut?

Jeez. "He kills the light." He can even float, for all we know.


миродержец

Ссылка на сообщение 13 сентября 2011 г. 15:48  
Respectuflly, I totally missed your meaning. Kills the light? :-)))
–––
Eramos pocos y parió la abuela


авторитет

Ссылка на сообщение 13 сентября 2011 г. 19:52  
:-) "He turns off the light"


миродержец

Ссылка на сообщение 13 сентября 2011 г. 22:37  
Oh. got it finally. But now I'll have to rid of a mental image of floating zeppelins in darkness LOL!
–––
Eramos pocos y parió la abuela


миродержец

Ссылка на сообщение 5 февраля 2012 г. 12:36  
Some hilarious fashion tips from a fashion guru Simon Doonan — Fashion for Mad Scientists :-)))

http://bigthink.com/ideas/42279?utm_sourc...


PS Love the idea about false lashes! :-))) (tried to imagine Sophia Kavalevska with a pair of those... nearly wet my pants :-D)
–––
Eramos pocos y parió la abuela


магистр

Ссылка на сообщение 11 марта 2012 г. 18:45  
this picture — a test for a real russian man
only born in Russia/USSR can say what this mean ;-)

–––
ϝʟ * Никаких компромиссов, даже перед лицом армагеддона (Роршах)


миротворец

Ссылка на сообщение 11 марта 2012 г. 22:02  
vad :beer: nice


миродержец

Ссылка на сообщение 20 января 2013 г. 19:10  
–––
Eramos pocos y parió la abuela


миродержец

Ссылка на сообщение 16 января 2014 г. 20:19  
–––
Eramos pocos y parió la abuela


миродержец

Ссылка на сообщение 17 февраля 2014 г. 17:25  
–––
Eramos pocos y parió la abuela


миродержец

Ссылка на сообщение 21 февраля 2014 г. 00:20  
Two fantastic old ladies (they are 100 and they have been friends for 94 years) asnwering questions about modern pop-culture :cool!::cool!:

–––
Eramos pocos y parió la abuela


философ

Ссылка на сообщение 21 февраля 2014 г. 01:48  
–––
...после смерти все басисты попадают в метроном...


философ

Ссылка на сообщение 21 февраля 2014 г. 12:50  
–––
Сегодня ты играешь трэш, а завтра бабу свою съешь!


философ

Ссылка на сообщение 17 марта 2014 г. 11:38  
–––
Сегодня ты играешь трэш, а завтра бабу свою съешь!


миродержец

Ссылка на сообщение 24 марта 2014 г. 19:21  
–––
Eramos pocos y parió la abuela
Страницы: 123    🔍 поиск

Вы здесь: Форумы fantlab.ru > Форум «English forum on Fantlab.ru» > Тема «Just For Fun»

 
  Новое сообщение по теме «Just For Fun»
Инструменты   
Сообщение:
 

Внимание! Чтобы общаться на форуме, Вам нужно пройти авторизацию:

   Авторизация

логин:
пароль:
регистрация | забыли пароль?



⇑ Наверх